Disclaimer: Inspired by real life events but taking a lot
of liberties with it.
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~
I speed up through the
last block on my way to his hotel. He never said what time he was leaving but I
need to talk to him before he goes... to say what? I don’t know, but I just
need to see him.
I take the stairs, two
steps at a time, and I need a minute to catch my breath once I’m at his door.
I knock on the door
softly. I’m nervous, excited, scared — I’m a lot of things.
He opens the door in his
trousers and a light blue button up that has the neck unbuttoned and the
sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He’s not wearing any shoes.
“Cecilia,” he nods, but
there’s no smile for me. At least he called me by my name, as he usually does,
and not with a mere inconsequential hello, as he did when he answered the phone
a while ago.
He leans on the door
frame with one hand, as if he needs the support. I open my mouth only to clasp
it back closed. I have no idea what to say!
He seems to be
struggling for words too, as he scratches the back of his neck with his free
hand and looks down.
Then I realize I really
don’t have to say anything, so I just let myself go.
He takes a sharp intake
of breath when my lips collapse with his. My hands are around his neck pulling
him to me. His lips are unresponsive against mine at first, his hands just drop
at his sides. Soon after, he groans softly against my lips, and with a hand in
my lower back, he pulls me to him while the other one closes the door behind us.
His hand cradles the
back of my head, under my pony tail, as he presses me against the door. When he
breaks the kiss for air and drops his forehead on mine, I am thankful he’s
holding me up, had he not, I’d have been a puddle on the floor.
“I...” he starts, but
the words die in his mouth. His hands release me as he plants them on the door,
flanking my shoulders as he looks down. He exhales roughly, and it sounds like
he whispers something that I don’t quite catch.
My hands make it to his
hair, slowly searching for his face and pulling him up. His eyes are tightly
closed as he avoids looking at me. “What is it?”
When he opens his eyes,
they flick between mine, scrutinizing, trying to figure me out.
My hands cup his face as
he breathes hard into the cage he has me in between his arms. “Are you okay?”
His lips stretch
minutely, almost in a smile. “I’m better than okay...” he says. “It’s just...
I...” he stalls again and groans, looking down.
“What?” My hands pull on
his face again, but I drop them down as he straightens up and pulls away
altogether.
“I was preparing to say
goodbye to you... to let you go.” He paces in front of me until he turns to
face me. “I thought I ruined everything... and yet you come here — you’re here —
and you kiss me... like that.” In two strides, he’s back right up in front up
me and takes my face in his hand. “What did that kiss mean, Cecilia?”
“I don’t know what it
means yet...” I say honestly. “But I’m here... I’m here because I want to be
with you.”
“As a friend?” he asks, his
eyebrows scrunching in the middle.
I smile, reaching for
his face. “Was that a friendly kiss, Lukasz?”
He laughs through his
nose, looking down again, but when he peeks back up, the lines that stretch on
his face as he smiles tell me he’s okay... that we’re okay.
His hands hold my face as his lips touch mine again, so softly. He pecks my lips a couple times before he pulls back again. His thumbs brush under my eyes, catching a few tears.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
A nod at him is all I
can manage at the moment. He grabs my hand and walks us to the half a kitchen
in his suite, where there are two stools, and I sit on one as he heads for the
mini fridge.
When he sets two
cranberry juice bottles on the counter, I can’t keep the chuckles from my
mouth. He shakes his head, opening one of the bottles for me, and pushing it my
way. His eyes remain on me as he tips his bottle and I sip at mine, my insides
still tingling from our kiss.
“Better?” He puts the
bottle down and holds himself up with both hands on the counter.
“Yeah...” I exhale,
fixing my hair behind my ears and wondering what a mess I look like. “Rough
night, last night...”
“Yeah...” He looks down
between his arms. “I had no night,” he says in almost a whisper.
I know he got no sleep —
I can tell by his eyes, their red tint and the shadows beneath them. I hate
that he wasn’t able to rest, and I hate that it was because of me.
In a desperate need for
a change of subject, I ask, “How did your appointment go?”
He stretches his pose
but still avoids my eyes. “It went fine,” he shrugs, “I can play.”
I know that look. It’s
the ‘I don’t want to talk about it’ look. They’re going to let him play, but
his situation hasn’t improved, and it won’t, until he has his surgery.
I remember what he asked
of me though, what he needs. Going through it will be hard enough without him
trying to convince people he can do this.
I know he can.
I know he will.
“Okay,” I offer him with a smile. “That’s good news then.”
When his eyes meet mine,
they show relief, gratitude. Of course I will worry about him, but I will keep
that to myself. He can be strong for his team; I can be strong for him.
He makes his way around
the kitchen island, and tentatively wraps one arm around me, holding me close
to his chest.
“Thank you.” The words come in a whisper as he kisses my forehead.
He pulls away, keeping
an arm around me, and I look up to him. His fingers brush some of my hair back
behind my ears and a smile appears on his face. “I wanted to do that since you
appeared at my door.”
“I look like a mess,
don’t I?’
He laughs through his
nose. “Mess would be the last word I’d use to describe you right now.”
Before I can reply, his
cell phone rings and he groans. “It’s Braun,” he says, looking at the screen
before silencing the phone with a sigh.
“You have to go.” My
voice deflates at the thought of finally having him and having to let him go
just as quickly.
“I wish I didn’t have
to... or that you could come with me.”
Yeah, well... there’s a
thought. As rational as Mats is trying to be about this, I can’t just show up
at a game with Lukasz.
The sudden tension
emanating from Lukasz tells me his mind has wandered to the same place.
He could stay here,
though... this isn’t Dortmund.
“You’re not playing,
right? Do you have to go?”
He smiles, relaxing a
bit.
“I do... I also have a
meeting with Kloppo tomorrow morning.”
“So busy...” I say, my
finger running over his arm.
“I could come back
tomorrow night after the game...” he says all of the sudden, surprising me and
I guess himself as well. “I only have to be back at training on Monday.”
“You’d fly?” My eyes
widen as I stare up at him, giddy with the possibility of seeing him again so
soon.
“If I only get one day
with you, I’m not going to spend ten hours driving here and back.” His hand
makes it to my face as he runs the back of his fingers over my cheek. “Not
unless you’re in the car with me.”
“You’d do that?”
“It’s a one hour flight,
Cecilia.” He shrugs. “If you’re not busy, and you’d want me to, I’ll be on the
first flight out of Dortmund after the game.”
I can feel the smile
stretching on my face. “I’d love you to.”
He matches my grin,
pulling me closer again.
With the promise of
seeing each other the next day, Lukasz puts me in a cab back to my apartment as
he gets ready to fly back to Dortmund.
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~
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